Sale at Angel’s Rest Funeral Home
Otto Hopp, Director of the Angel’s Rest Funeral Home, is pleased to announce their annual winter sale. All scheduled funerals will come with free announcement printing [1], one medium bouquet [2], and a gift certificate good for two free desserts at the Girded Loin Restaurant [3]. The special will run through the current sickly season, expiring on the first day of spring. Due to the number of patrons who scheduled funerals up to fifty years in the future during last year’s sale, Mr. Hopp has stipulated that the services must take place before the first day of spring or that payment must (more…)
A Christmas Story, or How Gertillia Backslid
Gertillia Mayberry backslid one Christmas Eve. Aunt Ada considered her a close friend before the conflagration but afterwards said she had suspected Mrs. Mayberry was a closet sinner, prone to works of the flesh when no one was watching, including a bit of tippling on certain occasions, though she did concede that Gertillia kept her eyes closed during the prayer. Aunt Ada keeps close watch on folks during the prayer, habitually making lists of anyone with their eyes opened, to the extent of putting stars beside the names of people bold enough to send text messages. She gives the list to the elders out of love for the many souls heading the broad way that leadeth to destruction. According to Aunt Ada, she wishes everyone would (more…)
Sycamore Shadows Yearbook
The imaginactory is pleased to announce the forthcoming publication of the Sycamore Shadows Yearbook for 2011, a compilation of every post relating to the town and its citizens published in the past year. The book will be available free to all subscribers of imaginactory.com and for .99 to everyone else. If you’re cheap, subscribe. It will be published in formats compatible with the Nook, Kindle, iPad, and most other readers. (more…)
Our Illustrious Tree
Ohio has always been known for its abundant Sycamore Trees but the most famous example just happens to live in Sycamore Shadows.
Ponder Keen
Nippy’s old coon dog Ponder lives on the crest of the ridge behind Nippy’s house, in a doghouse by the hedgerow that divides one field from another, just as you’d imagine from The Wind in the Willows or a Thomas Hardy novel. You can see miles from Ponder’s box and Nippy frequently uses it for a gun rest when shooting groundhogs. Ponder doesn’t like the shooting, though. He’s not afraid of gunfire but it disturbs his sleep and Ponder takes his slumbers seriously. Nippy named him Ponder on account of the way he always looks as though he’s thinking and considering, when he’s not sleeping, that is. (more…)
Abigail Padden, Hog-slopper
Pap would say there were two kinds of female beauty: beautiful and knows it, the kind of woman who always looks good, who clanks and jangles and sparkles when she walks and smells exotic like an island in the south seas, even when she’s picking cucumbers; and then there’s the (more…)
Night View of the Keen, Yost, and Yoder Farms
Pictured above is the area of Sycamore Shadows known by locals as “Amish Town,” a name which Nippy Keen objects to since he’s not Amish and owns more land than the two others put together. His place is on the right side of the road. The Yoder farm, which is partially in Pennsylvania, is on the top left and the Yost farm bottom left. Across from the Yost farm is Keen’s/ Hotchkiss’ Filling Station.
Nippy Keen: Revolutionary War Veteran
Nippy says his many greated grandfather fought with General Nathanael Greene in the southern campaign of the American Revolution. According to Nippy, his grandfather and the Quaker general were such great friends the common soldiers called them Keen & Greene, or Greene & Keen, but I don’t know about that. Nippy knows more about the American Revolution than anyone I’ve ever known but he likes stretchers too, especially when it concerns his family, which he’s terribly proud of. (more…)
A Night in the Dog Box
Curly and Adelphie Dowd had a pretty big fight one night – bigger than normal. He’d been coon hunting and drinking and lost his gun and didn’t get home until the next afternoon. After the fight Curly left again, saying he wasn’t coming home again that night either – he’d rather sleep with Ponder in his box. Of course, anyone who’s seen Adelphie Dowd would question the difference. (more…)
