“In Sycamore Shadows folks like to lick their stamps, kill their chickens, and darn their socks. I use a typewriter.”

“Sometimes we don’t realize how much we love something until we see it on fire.”

“When you’re accustomed to snacking on Protestants, Catholics taste funny.”

“Most women are quick to forgive. Although unverified, there have even been reports of women forgetting.”

“You can’t shove a dove in a hole and expect them to like it.”

“Pap always said being a man was more than growing pubic hair and driving a pickup truck.”

” ‘The day of judgment has come!’ the preacher said, pounding the pulpit. Curly wondered if he should cover his peas and beans.”

“There is no substitute for practice. Practice shooting until you are able to hit a target while lying drunk in a gutter during a rainstorm with your arm in a sling, a slug in your leg, and a patch over one eye. This is the standard of good marksmanship.”

“One generation passeth away and another generation cometh, but polyester seersucker pretty much abideth forever.”

“Some infractions are unpardonable, and among these are husbands exhuming the bodies of former fiancées. Wives tend to see it as an indication that he’s having trouble letting go.”

“Not even death is without its dark side.”