NOTICE
On several occasions I have received visits at the Imaginactory from people confusing me with a namesake—by all accounts, a rather churlish, sarcastic, unlikeable person with no obvious means of support—who lives in nearby E. Liverpool. To avoid misunderstandings, I am a bachelor with three dogs, the son of Boswell and Madrigal (Sanderling) Wetzel, and my middle name is Sanderling. My doppelgänger has a wife and three children; his middle name is Stephen. 
Craig and Father-NP
As a toddler, my head was so large and heavy and my neck so underpowered for the job of supporting it that I spent most of my time trying not to tip over and drown in a bowl of SpaghettiOs.

I dislike writing about myself, but people who don’t know me seem interested. People who know me feel the same as I do. I was born on Plane Tree Lane in Sycamore Shadows, Ohio, the only child of Boswell Wetzel, a carpenter by trade, and the former Madrigal Sanderling, my lovely mother, who, because I have revealed her given name, is no longer speaking to me. 

Unfortunately for my biography, I had a wonderful childhood. No one beat me, my father never left, my mother wasn’t a drunk, I was never molested by a neighbor, and I always had the necessities of life: food and books. We weren’t wealthy, but I wanted nothing (except more books). I attended Sycamore Shadows High School—go Buttonballs—and after a very brief and spectacularly unsuccessful stint at Castoreum College, did nothing of note, and still haven’t. In 2009, I inherited the former Sanderling-Bowles Pottery from my great-uncle, Phineas Sanderling, renaming it the Imaginactory. I will ever be grateful to Uncle Phineas for making it all possible by by contracting a terminal illness and leaving me his estate.

In 2015, I began writing about Sycamore Shadows.

 

Craig '76
By age 12 I could finally hold my head erect.

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