“Had my nephew the same love of scripture that he has for making people laugh and drawing pictures, he’d be a deacon in the church by now. And you, young lady [Abigail Padden], would do well to consider your reputation by not spending so much time alone with him.” —Miss Ada Sanderling, Craig’s Great Aunt.

“Who?”—Curly Dowd

“The lucky [expletive]! Wish someone had left me money and a [expletive] building so I could set around and [expletive] draw all day and [expletive] go [expletive] fishing whenever the [expletive] I wanted. Some of us have to [expletive] work for a [expletive] living.”—Cleb Bowman, Bowman’s Motorcar Arcade

“I heard he has a terrible temper – is that true?”—Edna Minzel

“Always throws his extra change in my urinal. That’s the kind of person he is.”—Otto Hopp, Angel’s Rest Funeral Home

“Caught him and Cass Padden drawin’ dirty pictures inside the dog box once. Thought they were bein’ clever. Always knew he’d be an artist one day.”—Rube Elder

“Not since the Imaginuchkins in the last century has our town enjoyed an institution like the Imaginactory. I applaud what he’s done for our fair town, even if he does resist paying his taxes.”—Mayor Eli Chibble

“Knows his birds.”—Oris Hocket, Girded Loin Restaurant

“Started a savings account when he was seventeen. Had it ever since. Balance: $17.00. He thinks it’s funny.”—Charlie Stirnweiss, Sycamore Savings Bank

“Used to get his gas here. Now he goes to Sheetz. Says they’ve got Slim Jims. Real comedian.”—Ed Hotchkiss, Hotchkiss’ Filling Station

“I love the boy but white folks shouldn’t be playin’ no blues. The boy can fish though.”—Sammy “Blue” Bellhorn

“That man gets more mail than anyone I’ve ever seen. Finally talked him into getting a box in East Liverpool. Don’t know how I’d carry all that mail with two legs, much less only one.”—Andy Bollman, Postmaster

“I’ve never seen him at a church social.”—Minister Easter Westminister, Church of the Lost Sheep

“Furthermore, young lady, no good will come of my nephew’s penchant for painting you. A woman who loses her respect, loses all. And don’t think I haven’t prayed for the lord to deliver you from my nephew.” —Miss Ada Sanderling

“Doesn’t he get enough publicity without your help?”—Garton Purby

 

 

 

 

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